School: Co-Workers

After catching up on my sleep(-ish)I got to school and was pleasantly surprised by how absolutely bright and colorful it is inside (unlike my apartment complex which looks like a big gray elephant trying to disguise itself with a wardrobe circa 1985 - and yes, I mean hot pink stirrup pants). If Dr. Seuss imagined himself a school it would look like this, only it wouldn't have the Disney characters painted on the wall. It is rather nice to come here everyday and see Peter Pan and Ariel. They seem to be sympathetic, understanding faces; friends who have known me since "way back when". In this case "way back when" means back when I could sing all of "Part of Your World" without missing a word. And so, I guess "way back when" includes right now, while I'm singing a Little Mermaid ballad and getting stared at.

-sigh- It feels like I never left home. Here I am, enormous, at a computer, singing like a woman to a crowd of people who either don't understand me or are a little frightened but cover it up with giggles.

Speaking of which!

Co-workers

I s'pose let's start at the top. The director is Mr. Kang and I've met him quite possibly four times in the two weeks I've been here in the lovely ROK. He's a terribly busy man but makes time to bow and smile and make extremely small talk. I'm told he's the man to go to when I need things for the apartment but...I'm slightly afraid I'll do or say something offensive to him in the process. That's how I am with most of the kind people here: I just know I'm gonna...make a chicken noise or...burst forth into song & dance and end up in the slammer with a couple of Korean trannies and a drug smuggler from Canada (eh?).

Next is Principle. She's very nice but always looks at me like I'm on my last strike. I don't think she means to, but...she does. Everytime we talk, she asks me into her office. Each time, I prepare myself to pack up and come home. The first time she came, her face was unfathomably passive and neutrally pleasant. I girded my loins and shuffled in after her (shuffling, in slippers we shuffle). I sat down, hands and asscrack sweating. She sat down and looked at me. She opened her mouth and asked "How is your apartment". I nearly fell out of my chair. And seriously? That was it. That's all she wanted to know. Generic small talk ensued, I left, end of story. I haven't quite figured out what's happening there but she obviously takes small talk VERY seriously.

There are two men who work here who I can't recall the names of, EVER. I know one is "Uncle Joe" and one is "Uncle Park" but...neither of them seem very uncley and I refuse to call anyone "Uncle Park". Uncle Park...it sounds like the crappiest amusement park ever. So you go and, I guess, get noogies for a couple of hours? Or is it a dedication to famous Uncles? Uncles Fester, Buck and Frank in the loneliest parade since the "People who still give a damn about Steve Guttenberg" parade?

(Attention shoppers: the aforementioned SG parade never occured but probably would have consisted only of said Guttenberg himself...maybe)

Yeah, I don't think the Uncle Park would work out. The whole place would smell like Brut and the only thing they'd sell in the souvenir shop would be Tommy Bahama and some weird, postwar railroad memorabilia.

The one who I think is Uncle Joe is the VP of the company but jokes with me that he's the janitor. He's a stiffly jolly sort of guy and loves to come into a room to practice a single English word. It's always kind of a shock because he...kind of "proclaims" the word...like from the diaphragm...while you're working. I'm always caught off guard by his vocabulary choices; words like "intestine" or "beard". The other uncle fields phone calls and probably is the grease that keeps this well-oiled machine greased up and working like an oily, greasy machine; a machine that makes little English speakers. Oily and greasy ones.

Next in line I think must be Christine Teacher, who is divine and reminds me of my friend Hanh back home. She's the office big sister, faux reprimanding the uncles and director when they don't know something about the world at large. She's the one we all come to when we have a question about the materials like "What the hell is a Phonics Chant?" and "Well what is the purpose of having a Phonics Chant referred to in the materials when the Phonics Chant has never been heard of?" She's a joy and understands the ins and outs of a company such as this.



Anyhoo...next is Maria Teacher, who is grand. She's very much "down" (which means she understands the way life works and is very street savvy). She's nice to go to with problems if you need a pep talk and even for a serious talk. We had sushi the other night. I'll touch on that in one of my future sections dedicated to cuisine.


Don't let these Anglo names fool you, fervent reader. No, these are dyed in the wool native Korean folk. Some have been to the states, some even grew up there but they have two names. Not like I have a first name and a middle name. Hmm-mm. They have an entirely different name not on any birth certificate but certainly on their in and out boxes and definitely on the lips of all of their students. What I wonder is: do they use these names when they go home? Do they insist that their husbands, friends and neighbors refer to them as Jennifer and Stella as they go for shopping and shabu shabu (that's boiled meats, carniverous readers)? And where in the blessed mirth do they get these names? Could Ella have chosen hers after being moved by the dulcet tones of one Ella Fitzgerald? Could Candy just really enjoy junk food? And could Swan be overly fond of birds and/or my high school English teacher?

Who's to say.

Swan and Shenna are the "helper" teachers. "Helper" teachers do many menial tasks and some very very crucial ones, mainly coralling and disciplining the 5 year olds when they get out of hand. Swan and I eat lunch with these, the youngest of our charges and try to keep mayhem from breaking out before the kids have had at least part of their lunch inside of them (in whatever fashion we deem necessary) rather than down their fronts or, as is sometimes the case, down our fronts. Shenna is particularly sweet and we like to have mini cultural exchanges now and again as we both try our best to speak each other's languages. Shenna is much better at English than my pathetic attempts at Korean (called Hanguk here). For these two ladies I am extremely grateful.

Last and certainly not least are the two other native English speakers here at the school. Liane and Alecia are South Africans from Cape Town and speak both English and Afrikaans. They are lovely and extremely spirited but in very different ways. Liane is easygoing and flowy. She reminds me a lot of Danelle Dullum and her sister, Denise. She's quick to smile and gets the attention of the younger children without much effort. She's slight and trim but insists that she adores cheese (which she does, actually). If you need a sympathetic ear, hers is the one to chat into for a bit.

Alecia is also laid back but very firm with the children. She doesn't give them an inch and tends not to care if they throw tantrums, etc. I must learn from these two. I'm always trying to break up fights and put out fires (no, not actual fires...yet) and I need to let it wash over me sometimes and let things be. Alecia also seems to be very sure of herself and I think that really helps me to feel grounded and remember that I do know who I am.

That's everyone at work. They're a great bunch overall and I look forward to getting to know them better.

Probably best of all though, before I leave you, remote reader, I must say that I love the cook. I learned to say "delicious" and she has learned to say "thank you" in return. She doesn't speak English but she does speak the language I know best: delicious food.

Yeah, it's a language. Look it up, smart guy. I'll wait.

(Insert the sound of Geoffrey leaving quickly here)