The Escape -part 1-

***DISCLAIMER: THERE ARE NO PICTURES IN THIS BLOG ENTRY***

This journal has been a long time in coming. I know most of you have been asking after me and my silence has worried my loved ones greatly.

For this I am sorry, but you see...the last few months have been rough ones. Journey back in time to just after my last post with me, adventurous reader, and let us gently spelunk our way through the caverns of treachery and depression (January and February), but let's do it together and with snacks.

First and foremost, you must know that the principal at my school arrived at the school only a couple of days before I did. She was purportedly scouting the school to consider buying it from the company. Yes, schools are bought and sold here.

OKAY! The preface is over. Now onto the...just...face?

January first marked the beginning of the new principal's plans for the graduation of several of the previously mentioned students. It also marked the beginning of the new principal's plans for getting the head Korean teacher fired.

One can only speculate as to why she wanted to fire Christine teacher, but this is my blog and speculate I will! My guess is that Christine, though a mere underling, knew much more about the ins and outs of a kindergarten than the new principal. In Korea, it's important that one kowtow to their boss and not challenge or question their decisions or judgement.

Well...Christine may look and speak Korean but...she spent a good portion of her life in New Zealand and, thusly, a lot of the Korean norms have been well-Kiwi'd out of her. The principal had had experience with hagwons (after-school study schools), but has precious little knowledge about elementary education. Christine, on the other hand, has been working in kindergartens for several years and knows quite a bit but is not in a position of power.

To cut a long story short, I'll just say that the power struggle became too much for the principal and she decided to fire Christine.

I could tell that Principal had wanted the whole thing to go smoothly and quietly, like a KD Lang ballad, but sadly for her, it went only slightly less smoothly than, say, a Yoko Ono ballad.

First of all, Christine had been with the school for a year. As you know by now, the schools are run, not by teachers or head teachers or even principals but by obsessive, controlling, psychotic Korean mommies. Sadpants once again for Principal: the mommies of the graduating class all knew Christine VERY well, but were unaquainted with the new principal.

Well...news of the firing spread like nutella across white bread toast and soon a varitable bevvy of porcelain-faced, stunningly passive-aggressive mommies marched into the school, voicing their concerted opinion of the principal.

During this time, the principal fired the cook, to hire a cook who would work longer hours as the schools janitor, and fired our only helper teacher, while simultaneously racking up huge bills on the company credit card.

Also about this time we (the foreign teachers) got a call from Christine in hysterics because the principal had told her that we'd all gone into complain about the way Christine was doing her job. A he said/she said roundabout fiasco of lies, geared toward forcing Christine to quit early.

Luckily for our Cha-cha (Christine's nickname at the office) the stink the mother's raised reached the nose of the principal's boss, and once he caught wind that they'd threatened to pull the kids out early and send them to a different school if Christine were fired, decided to postpone Christine's "leaving date" until the kids' graduation.

What does this have to do with me? Well...you can imagine, empathetic reader, that the school was a fairly unjoyous place to be during this time. That feeling spread to the kids and we saw many, many of our students leaving.

It became a dreadful thing to show up to work, and an even more dreadful thing to have to deal with "That Woman" as she became known. Day in and day out she became more and more strange. Calling us into the office at seperate times, telling us that teachers were talking about us, or that parents were saying things about us, none of which were true.

Plans were made, dropped, brought back and changed on a dime and from day to day none of us were sure what was going to happen or what new dramatic revelations were going to spew forth from that back office, but spew forth they did.

This was when I decided it was time to leave.

The day came when I had found another job, secured it, and was told to break the news to "Her" as nicely as possible, as it was important to have a good relationship with her after my employment. Why? I have no idea.

For a few days, I hemmed and hawed. How to say I was leaving after only a few short months? When would be the best time? What kind of dress shirt says "yeah, I'm outta here, CRAZY"?

Sadly, none of them. However, the time came, as I prayed in the bathroom stall for guidance, that an opportunity sauntered forth like a member of the Lollipop Guild. I say that only because That Woman was seriously about 5 feet tall.

She asked me into her office (or lair, whatever) and sat me down to talk about finding replacements for the other foreign teachers, who were leaving in March. I seized upon my big chance and said that I'd had a good offer from another school and that I, too, would be leaving in March so she shouldn't need two more teachers, she'd need three.

After a two second pause she continued on as if I'd said nothing. She asked me if I knew anybody who'd be interested. I asked her how many people she needed. She said maybe only one, because the school didn't need three teachers. I explained again that she'd need at least TWO teachers since I wouldn't be there come March.

Another pause and then the Jack Russell head tilt.

She laughed and said "no...you have a contract...I think you cannot break it...". Well...she didn't SAY it so much as SING it like a school yard bully sings "Oh Geoffreyyyyyyyy...guess where I put your gym shooooooorts". Ultimately I kept saying "Yeah, this is just a really good opportunity for me, I can't pass it up." and she finally said: "Oh, Geoffrey. You cannot leave. Don't disappoint me, okay?"

After several more minutes of back and forth, she stopped arguing and then proceeded to say "Okay?" over and over again.

"So anyhow, those are my plans."
"Okay?"
"Hmm?"
"Geoffrey. Okay?"
"Okay, what? What's okay?"
-long pause as she was probably thinking 'fall into my trap, fall into my trap, fall into my trap'
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. What's okay?"
-nervous fake laugh-
"I have to teach now, I'll try to find somebody to fill my place."

Meh, I figured if she was gonna lie, I would too. Why would I ask one of my friends to work for her?! How could I after painting her as the Dragon Lady. I don't mean actual paintings with phthalo blue and alizarin crimson, I mean taking potshots at her lack of character or ethics. WithOUT the happy clouds, Bob.

I had TWO more meetings with her. They were equally unpleasant. I came to the second meeting and wasn't aware that I would be participating in In the second meeting she said "What if I don't want to sign the release?"
"Well...it would be nice to have it but...I think I'd be okay..."
"No...I think you have to go back to your country..."
"Umm...maybe not MY country, but a different country, yes."
"No, I don't think so."
After a brief pause, when it was clear that we both thought the other was CLEARLY mistaken and probably mentally challenged, That Woman merely chuckled and changed the subject.

Within a month, I was saying good-bye to the children. We had a grand graduation ceremony. The kids all did a good job with the ENORMOUS amount of memorization they had to do, and I'm happy to say that the dramas were not half bad. There's DVD of it, so...once I take the time to figure out how, I'll post some of the blessed event. This graduation marked the departure not just for me, not just for the kids, but for two other Korean teachers who were being hastily replaced after putting in their notices.

Before I left, Mr. Kang (the real owner of the school) looked sheepishly into my eyes and grinned like a boy who'd been scolded by mummy. He shook my hand and thanked me for all of my hard work on behalf of the school.

That Woman gave me a half-handed, limp shake and didn't look me in the eye. I wanted to break her fingers off but decided that, at some point, they'd realize the exodus was the first of many she would be causing and they'd break her fingers for me.


******JOYOUSLY KARMIC UPDATE: They've fired That Woman!*******